


Fortuitous and Perses

by Mpuppy5885



Series: Fortuitous and Perses (Or the worlds-biggest-self-insert) [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug, Original Work
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, I MADE A MISTAKE, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is STUPID, This was written with my Discord group
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25583782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mpuppy5885/pseuds/Mpuppy5885
Summary: What would happen if I became the guardian of the miraculous and give them to my friends? This was a mistake and here's why.
Relationships: None
Series: Fortuitous and Perses (Or the worlds-biggest-self-insert) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896319
Comments: 27
Kudos: 16





	1. Part one of Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> I regret everything about this fic.

Peggy popped her gum as she waited for her friends to show up. Pulling out her phone she began to twirl a piece of her long blonde hair on a finger while checking the time, 2:23 pm. They were late, normal for her friend group. Hearing the sound of running in her direction she flickered her blue eyes up to see David running straight at her. Putting her phone in her pocket she waited till he was in front of her before speaking.

“You’re late Py,” Peggy teased. “Too busy blowing things up, humm?”

“Shut up Peggy,” David panted as he tried to catch his breath. Running a hand through his dirty blond hair he asked, “Where’s Sophia, Trinity, Chris, Prince, Gem, Ozul, Noel, and Kitty?”

“Kitty is picking up Trinity and the others are I don’t know where, but they’re all late,” Peggy snarked. “Shouldn’t you know where Phia and Noel are, as one is your younger sister and the other is your twin?”

“Oh haha, very fun Peg. I don’t know where Sophia and Noel are and it’s not my job to keep track of them,” He answered.

Peggy rolled her eyes good naturally at her friend. Yelling caught both of their attention and the teens whipped around. Running at them was Sophia yelling their names, “Peggggggyyyyy. Davvvvvidddddd. Hiiiiiiii.” Sophia ran full force into David and knocked the 6’2 boy to the ground and just sat there grinning at him. “Hey guys did I miss anything?” Sophia asked from the ground.

Peggy had lost it when the little 5’2 girl knocked David to the ground and could not stop laughing. “Doing… haha… great… haha... Phia… haha.”

“Sophia could you, oh I don’t know, GET OFF ME?!” David asked the dirty blonde-haired girl.

“Oh sorry David,” Phia answered her blue eyes twinkling in amusement.

David rolled his dark eyes at his friend. Sometimes he questioned why he was friends with these people.

“Ello guys,” Ozul called as he and Prince joined the group. “Any reason David is on the ground?”

David grumbles before pointing at Sophia. “Why don’t you ask Phia,” he hissed.

“Don’t mind Pyro, he’s just mad because he got knocked off his feet by a girl a foot smaller than him,” Peggy told the boys.

The group laughed at David as he pushed himself up from the ground.

“Wish Kitty was here already, she would keep you guys from teasing me,” David hissed at his friends.

“Aww does the poor kitty want a hug to feel better?” Peggy teased.

“NO! NO HUGS!” David yelled as he jumped away from Peggy.

“But Pyro you deserve hugs and affection,” a female voice called from behind.

Kitty, Trinity, and Noel had walked over to the group as David was yelling so no one heard them come up.

“Shit Cat, don’t scare us like that,” Prince said, putting a hand to his chest to calm his racing heart.

Kitty giggles before answering, “Sorry Prince. I didn’t think that you guys were so jumpy.”

Before anyone else could speak a guy ran past the group and knocked Peggy to the ground.

“Hey asshole, watch where you’re going!” Peggy screamed at him. Sitting on the ground next to her was an old black backpack. “Hey, fucker you dropped your bag!”

The man didn’t stop, just kept running away from the group of teens. Peggy huffed angrily as she cursed the man in her head.

“Fucking assholes, you okay Peg?” Sophia asked.

“I’m fine. That bastard left his bag though so finders keepers, losers weepers it’s mine now,” Peggy said.

Peggy pulled the bag into her lap and looked inside. Sitting in the bag was what looked like an innocent jewelry box. She pulled it out and examined it, gently running a finger over the top. As Peggy did that the top suddenly sprang open to reveal a set of earrings, a ring, a necklace, a bracelet, a hair comb, and two brooches. Before she could pick up any of the jewelry a hand appeared in front of her.

“Here let me help you up,” Kitty said. Pulling Peggy to her feet she looked her friend over for any scratches, bumps, or bruises.

“Cat, I’m fine stop mother henning me,” Peggy complained.

Kitty huffed, but did as she was asked. Peggy picked up the ring and turned it over and over in her hand. It seemed to be made to fit a male’s hand, so her own long slim fingers would slide right out of it. Glancing at her friends she could almost feel a pull to give David the ring.

“Here Pyro, have a ring,” Peggy said as she threw the ring at David’s head.

“Shit. Watch it, Peggy,” David cried.

“Aww, but Peg that’s not how you propose to someone. You have to get down on one knee,” Noel teased.

“SHUT UP NOEL!” Peggy and David screamed at the brunette.

Noel started to cackle not caring about the death stares being sent her way.

“What did we walk into?” Chris asked as she and Gem joined the group with ice cream in their hands.

“Chaos, what else?” Noel snarked. “Hey, where’d you get the ice cream?”

“Well you see we got the ice cream from a parlor, they got it from an ice cream company, who got it from combining ingredients, and they came from the Earth,” Gem explained.

Noel stuck her tongue out at Gem.

“Uwu Pywo wants ice cweam,” David said to the duo.

“Get your own then you dumb bitch,” Gem told him.

“You can have ice cream later, Py,” Peggy chimed in.

“No,” He replied. “I want Gem's.”

“Eww, germs,” Trinity complained. “Eating someone’s ice cream after they have already started eating it is cursed.”

“You can’t have Chris and Grem’s ice cream,” Peggy told her friend, exasperated with him already.

“But I want Gem’s,” David whined.

“I can and will put it on your head,” She told him.

Leaving the others to their bickering Peggy looked down at the other jewels in the box and picked up the earrings. They would be good to wear with anything.

“Are we ready to go?” Ozul asked the group. They were going to go play laser tag and then head to Kitty’s place to play games and watch really bad bootleg movies.

“Yeah let’s go before we somehow get thrown out of a public park,” Trinity comments.

“When have we ever gotten thrown out of a public place?” Sofia askes.

“Let’s see, Pyro got us thrown out of the Mazarin Library, Noel got us thrown out of the Louvre, Ozul got us thrown out of Notre-Dame, and somehow you got us banned from the Eiffel Tower for three months, Phia,” Kitty listed.

“Oh right. Yeah, we should get going before we’re banned from the park as well,” Sophia replies.

Slipping the earrings into her pocket Peggy swung the bag over her shoulder and followed her friends to the laser tag arena. They were meeting Arachne there because she had to work and then it was time to start. Since none of them could figure out how to divide the group up fairly it was going to be a free for all. The winner would be a combination of who shot others the most and who escaped being shot the most.

Peggy ducked down behind a wall to catch her breath. Thank god she had gotten her new glasses so she could see, without them she could only see about a foot in front of her. Hearing a zing, she lifted her head just enough to see Trinity and David.

“One where the hell did you come from Tri. Two you shot me. Three you fucking SHOT ME!” David cried. Raising his gun he asked “Any last words?”

Trinity stared into David’s brown eyes with her own black ones narrowed. “I’m baby,” she said before shooting him again and running off.

David just stood there frozen. Peggy giggled at his face and set her gun on the top of the wall. She took aim and shot him in the side before taking off, no way she was sticking around so David could shoot her.

She keeps running as she sees Gem sneaking up on Ozul. Gem manages to shoot Ozul when he was busy shooting at Sophia who just kept running back and forth. Gem then books it out of there while Ozul whips his head around to see who shot him. Sophia takes this moment of distraction to also shoot Ozul in the back. Ozul looks shocked and Sophia just cackles as she runs away.

Noel laughs as her brother and sister come face to face with each other. She levels her gun and shoots them both before rolling behind a wall. That was too easy, like shooting fish in a barrel. While Noel is laughing she misses Trinity sneaking up on her.

“Pew pew pew,” Trinity whispers to Noel as she shoots her in the chest.

Noel is shocked and doesn’t know how to respond to this betrayal from Trinity.

“Don’t mess with Baby,” Trinity whispers before calmly walking off.

Kitty gathers the others around her, “Okay kids were all going to shoot Ozul, for reasons.”

David raises his hand and asks, “Then mass murder?”

Kitty sighs before answering him, Yes then you can shoot whoever you want, just get Ozul first!”

The group nods to each other before taking off to hunt Ozul down. Kitty watches them go with a proud look on her face. All of the teens were working together, oh she was so proud. Now time to get that snake, Ozul. He should have never messed with her collection.

After hunting down Ozul, everyone went their separate ways. Peggy ended up in a Mexican standoff with Arachne, Kitty, Chris, and Prince. No one was moving and the air was tense.

_Ten Seconds Left_

The group stared at each other waiting for the other to move.

_Ten_

_Nine_

_Eight_

_Seven_

“NO REGRETS!” Kitty screamed before shooting at everyone and everything.

_Six_

_Five_

_Four_

“RUN FOR IT!” Peggy, Chris, Arachne, and Prince yelled before taking off and running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

_Three_

_Two_

_One_

_TIME’S UP, STOP FIRING NOW!_

With the time up the group took off their gear and hung up the guns. Heading to the front of the area they waited to get their scores.

_1: YoungestTM  
2: Pyro  
2: Puppy  
3: Kopycat  
4: Swag  
4: Mnoeln  
5: Gremlin  
6: Purple  
7: Christal  
8: Web  
9: Shadow_

“HOW DID I GET LAST PLACE?” Ozul screams at the board.

“Because we all shot you for Kitty,” Prince explained slowly. "And we did that cause we love Kitty more than life."

“NOO! I can’t believe that Peggy and I tied,” David whined.

“Hahaha suck it loser,” Peggy laughs.

“Well this was fun, but we should head to my house now, before it gets too late,” Kitty suggested.

Everyone agreed and they made their way to Kitty’s house for a sleepover. Upon entering the group saw Kitty’s roommates, Jacob, Daeva, and Loki. Daeva and Loki were the other “parents” of the friend group, along with Kitty. Kitty had custody of Trinity and her younger sister Pidge, they lived in the home she shared with the other three.

“Before we get started can I use the restroom?” Peggy asked Kitty.

“Sure just go through the door on the right and down the hall, it’s the second door on the right,” Kitty explained.

Peggy went to the bathroom and fished into her pocket for a hair tie as she had broken hers while playing laser tag. Instead, she pulled out the earrings from earlier, shrugging she put them in her ears. As soon as she did that a bright pinkish-red light blinded her. Opening her eyes Peggy saw this… this small creature floating in front of her.

“Hi I’m Tikki,” The creature said.


	2. Part Two of Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What have I done with my life? Anyway, David and Peggy meet Tikki and Plagg, Gem questions her sanity, and Ozul flirts with David.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret everything about this, but I keep writing more.

Peggy just stares at the tiny... Tikki. It looks like a bug, or a mouse, or maybe a mix of the two things. However being a millennial and not having enough coffee in her system, Peggy’s first thought to do when confronted with this strange thing is to slowly T-pose.

Tikki looks on confused, what was her new holder doing? Was this a new greeting, how long had she been in the earrings?

“Hello… um… I’m Tikki and I’m your kawami. I give you the power of creation when you use your power of Lucky Charm. You also have another power, the power of Miraculous Ladybug, it gives you the power to fix any damage caused by akumas or dark forces.” Tikki explains. “To activate your powers you say “Tikki Spots On!” and you transform into a superhero.

Peggy blinks, “That’s cool, dude. But ahh, I think you have the wrong person, I can barely take care of a fish so I don’t think I can be a superhero.”

“What? But you have the miraculous, you MUST be the chosen one,” Tikki exclaims. “Didn’t the guardian give you the earrings?”

“Guardian? I got these earrings from a big jewelry box, from a backpack that a bastard dropped after he ran into him, and if I ever figure out who the fuck he was, I’ll kill him,” Peggy told her.

“YOU are the new guardian!? If you have the box, you have all the miraculouses and you become the new guardian,” Tikki cries. “WAIT, tell me you still have the silver ring that sits on the other side of the ying-yang in the box!”

Peggy’s eyes widened and she rubs her neck. “Wellll, you see…”

Peggy pauses trying to find the words to tell the tiny goddess how she messed up. “Well you see Tikki, I may have thrown the ring at a friend of mine,” Peggy explains.

Tikki stares at the blonde and one of her eyes starts to twitch, “So you're telling me that you gave away the miraculous of destruction? Is there a small chance that friend is still here so we can get the ring back?”

“Get it back? Yeah good luck with that, Pyro hoards shiny stuff almost as bad as a dragon and he’s just as fierce,” Peggy laughs.

Tikki looks like she has died on the inside as she realizes that this is her new holder and new guardian of the miraculouses. “The world is doomed,” She says solemnly.

Peggy nods before gently telling the kwami, “Hey Tikki, stay right here I’ll go grab David, and somehow we can fix this.”

Peggy slips out of the bathroom before Tikki can say anything else and hurries to the living room. There she sees that Kitty, Trinity, and Pidge are working on constructing a blanket fort and Daeva is struggling to get the T.V. to play the movies while Loki laughs at her. Peggy glances around the room and finds David sitting with Noel and Sophia talking about something, probably nukes. She runs over, grabs his wrist, and starts dragging him to the bathroom.

“Sorry guys but I need David’s help with something,” Peggy calls as she drags him away.

“Woo go get some bro,” Phia calls after them.

At this Kopy and Daeva look up from their tasks and together they yell, “NOT IN MY HOUSE YOU DON’T!”, while at the same time, Loki yells "USE PROTECTION!"

“Shut up all of you! It’s not that you pervs,” Peggy shouts, still dragging David away.

“Uhh, Peg you want to tell me why you're dragging me into the bathroom with you?” David askes.

“Just whatever you do when I show you this… thing please don’t scream. You’re the first one I’m showing this to, so I’m putting a lot of trust in you David,” Peggy says as she gently opens the bathroom door and pulls David inside.

David raises an eyebrow. "I'm not going to say what's on my mind."

“What did you think I meant…? Ew, gross Pyro!" Peggy lightly punches her friend in the shoulder. "That's cursed!"

David laughs, "That's why I wasn't gonna say it!"

Peggy glares at her friend before moving aside and letting David see Tikki for the first time.  
“Woah I must be more tired than I thought because I swear I can see a tiny floating creature next to you, Peg,” David comments.

“You do! Hi, I’m Tikki and I’m Peggy’s kwami. You have the Black Cat miraculous and the kwami, Plagg,” Tikki happily chirps. “And we’re going to need that ring back.”

“You mean this ring?” David asks, pulling the silver ring out of his pocket. Sending Peggy a devious smirk he slips the ring on his finger.

“DAVID NO!” Peggy shouts.

A green light appears from the ring circling around David before settling in front of him in the form of a tiny black cat. He had giant green eyes that blink sleepily at David.

“Oh hi you must be my new holder, I’m Plagg. You got anything to eat here?” Plagg asks.

David blinks at the small creature in front of him, “So what do you eat?”

“Cheese, any kind of cheese, but Camembert is my favorite,” Plagg comments looking wistful.

“Cool, I love any type of cheese too,” David tells the small god.

Plagg smiles and comments, “You, you are now my favorite.”

Back in the living room Gem keeps glancing in the direction of the bathroom, not even the bad remake of _Pacific Rim_ was holding her attention. “I'm going to go check that Peggy hasn't killed David yet,” She said, getting out of the pillow fort.

“Okay Gem. If you need me, give a shout,” Kitty calls after her.

Gem walks to the bathroom and tests the doorknob, seeing that it’s not locked she slowly pushes the door open. “Hey guys is David still alive…” Gem pauses as she sees the kwamis and David and Peggy wrestling on the floor for the ring. Deciding that this was too much to deal with she walks right back out, not even shutting the door as she does.

When Gem gets back to the living room she looks like she’s seen a ghost. Kitty being the mother-hen that she is, asks, “So what were they doing?”

“I don't know... I think that we’re all on drugs,” Gem answers as she stares off into the void.

“What's happening?” Ozul asks as he comes back from getting popcorn. 

Gem stares at him for ten seconds before answering. “Peggy and David are about to either kill each other or fuck, and I can't figure out which it is.”

“WHAT! NOT ON MY WATCH!” Ozul yells as he runs from the room spilling the popcorn everywhere.

“YOU’RE CLEANING THAT UP!” Daeva yells after him and at the same time Loki yells, “MAKE SURE TO USE PROTECTION AND LUBE!”

Gem still staring into the void, adds on, “OH AND THERE WERE TINY FLOATING ANIMALS SO HAVE FUN WITH THAT!”

Kitty looks over at Gem, “Do we need to have a talk about drugs?”

“No, but maybe one on being dead inside,” Gem answers.

Ozul bursting into the bathroom shouts at Peggy and David who we’re still fighting for the ring, “STOP RIGHT THERE!”

“Oh for fucks sakes, why do people keep bursting in here?” Peggy sighs.

“Because they think we finally killed each other,” David says, shoving Peggy off him.

“I actually thought you guys were fucking,” Ozul says as he leans against the doorframe.

Peggy and David look at each other before shouting “NO!” at Ozul.

Peggy rubs the bridge of her nose trying to stave off the migraine she felt forming. “New question, WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK WE'RE FUCKING? I'M ASEXUAL YOU BASTARDS!” She shouts at the boys.

“We weren't fucking!” David huffs.

“Oh? Does that mean there's an open spot hmm?” Ozul purrs out.

“Woah this got weird real quick,” Plagg pipes up from behind the teens.

Tikki stares at the teens in front of her, these, these were the protectors of the miraculouses. Oh gods the world was doomed.


End file.
